moms workshop!

i am excited to participate in a moms workshop this afternoon called "self care for moms on the go."  the description says that you will learn easy steps to fill your bucket, how to keep sane in the mom brain and tips on how to set boundaries with loved ones.  it's a free 2 hour event at our local library and i have heard good things about this speaker.  i took away so much from this workshop and am sharing my notes and what i learned.  maybe you will find something that will help you and i plan on looking back at these notes when i need a refresher!

this workshop was presented by alli kinnear, who is a life coach as well as a parenting and empowerment coach.

"stressed souls need the reassuring rhythm of self nurturing rituals."
~not a one off
~something you can make a habit
~must be a routine for ME

Prevention and Intervention:
~talk to yourself the way you would a friend
~protect your sleep
~eat nourishing meals
~move your body
~do something rejuvenating and inspiring on a daily basis
~seat healthy boundaries

Secret #1: check yourself before you wreck yourself
~what can i do in this moment take care of myself?
~ASK for what you need and receive, receive, receive
~if you are feeling resentful and playing the blame game, maybe a need is being unmet.  give others a chance to give to you!

Secret #2:  soothe your body
~1 hand on my belly (my intuition) and 1 hand on my heart (my love and connection), close your eyes and take full deep breaths
~alli also says she has a routine that she does where she gets up and pretends to "brush the shit off."  she made us all do it.  where you stand up and brush off your arms, hair, chest, clothes, etc.  then give a  good shake.  she said she does this every time she goes to the bathroom.  that way it is her ritual.  she does it multiple times a day and you do kinda feel lighter
~EFT method (emotional freedom technique).  hold head with fingers interlaced and with one hand tap top of head 2 or 3 times, then do the same with your heart and then your belly.  move your hands up your head a few times as you repeat this process and give your head a little squeeze.  helps to bring awareness and release toxicity.   here is a video i found on youtube that better describes this method

Secret #3 identifying pleasure vs. numbing activities:
~for example eating a bowl of ice cream vs. standing at the counter eating out of the container mindlessly.  or going for a walk vs. playing on your phone
~"any took is a weapon depending on how we hold it."
~self care is not selfish, it is essential
~this "secret" is one i have a lot of working on.  it is something i have identified in myself and wanted to work on as a new year resolution, but this made it very clear to me.  i want to fill my time up with things that bring me joy and not waste my time

Secret #4: rewriting our SFD's or shitty first draft and her tube sock example
~"the rumble begins with turning up our curiosity level and becoming aware of the story we're telling ourselves about our hurt, anger, frustration or pain."
~become aware of when you are in your SFD
~"every criticism, judgement, diagnosis and expression of anger is the tragic expression of an unmet need." by marshall rosenberg from him book "unviolent communication
~this one was harder for me to understand at first, so alli gave a great example.  she had a pair of her husbands dirty nasty old tube socks.  she said that everytime she did the laundry she felt anger as she was folding these socks.  they were always turned inside out and and she would have to stick her whole arm in to turn them right side out.  this went on for a while and then she asked her husband to please turn them the right way before putting them in the laundry because it drove her crazy to have to put her hand in and turn them right side out everytime she folded the laundry.  her husband said he would try.  so the next time she did laundry the socks were inside out again and her inner voice started making up this story about how he was trying to make her mad, he was trying to annoy her on purpose.  so she had to acknowledge that she was writing her SFD and needed to change the story.  she came up with her own solution and compromise that if her husband wouldn't turn the socks the right way then she would just fold them as is and she told him this.  he was okay with this solution and then eventually bought new socks. 
~the point being sometimes we have to calm the chatter in our head since we know it is not true and find a new story to write

Secret # 5 continue the work:
~commit to making one small change and work at it
~"positive change is hard but it is always worth it - it's time"

 recommended authors and books
~anne lammott
~marshall rosenberg
~"rising stong" by brene brown

i took so much away from this workshop and hope she has more in the future.  she does do a weekly video on facebook on wednesday evenings that address other parenting issues, self care, etc.  here is her info if you want to check her out!