breastfeeding awareness week...

unless you are a new mom, you may not have known that this week was "breastfeeding awareness week."  i wanted to take a moment to honor our breastfeeding journey, because it has not been an easy one and although i fear this is the beginning of the end for us, we are still going at it.  the last month has been especially hard on us, and when i say "us", i really mean me.  we have dealt with latch issues, nipple shields, but the biggest issue of all is my low supply and i am at an all time low at the moment (and one i don't think i can recover from).

i am going to give some of my thoughts and in no particular order...

~breastfeeding although a very natural thing is one of the trickiest parts of being a new mom.  it is painful, lonely, and difficult.  they say it gets better around 6-8 weeks in, but for us not so much.  it never got easy, we just adjusted our expectations.

~lactation consultants and la leche league are your best friends.  don't rely on doctors or pediatricians for advice.  although they all say they are in favor of it, most pediatricians are not very knowledgeable when it comes to breastfeeding and push formula from the very start.

~do what is best for your family and trust in your gut.

~breastfeeding is a hot topic and the mom shaming that goes along with it is no joke.  they say "breast is best", then they changed it to "fed is best."  i agree with both statements, we all know that breast milk is the perfect baby food but if you are unable to then the baby has to get fed someway or another.  but "fed is best" seems to undermine all the hard work and dedication i have put into breastfeeding, since that implies it doesn't matter how the baby gets fed as long as they eat.  but this gets to be a heavy debate with the moms in a lot of the groups and forums i follow.  so i think this makes more sense "you feed your baby and let me feed mine."

~we were lucky enough to have one of my girlfriends be a donor mom and provide us with frozen breast milk that she pumped so we could supplement.  this is a labor of love! pumping sucks and if you are lucky enough to have more than enough milk to share, giving it to a baby in need is one of the greatest gifts! 

~women love to compare birth/labor stories and they also love to compare breastfeeding journies.  we love to wear these badges of honor, especially the more difficult they are.  for example "i was in labor with no meds for 36 hours."  or "my daughter is 2 years old and we still breast feed."  these are all so personal and individual experiences, but we like to think "if i can do it, then you can too."  but this is not the reality of it.  i had the goal of breastfeeding bowie for one year, but still going at 4.5 months (given our difficulties) i know i should be happy.  i think the focus needs to be on if the baby is growing and thriving appropriately. 

i am determined to feed her this way as long as i can, even if that means that i am only able to provide a snack to her instead of a meal, nurse her to sleep or just for comfort.  the bond created through breastfeeding is a special one and i will miss this snuggle time and her milk drunk face. hope you enjoyed some of my favorite pics of our special time together.