37 weeks!!!

the baby is now considered full term and he can come pretty much at anytime!  i've been feeling okay but tired and overwhelmed.  i struggle to figure out how i want to spend the precious little time i have to myself before he comes.  i have the list of things i need to do, want to do and of course rest.  they are all important at this point, but my time management skills are kinda weak right now.  in general i feel pretty prepared as far as what we need for him, but i am scared shitless about becoming a mother of two.  i know how hard the newborn phase is and not to mention the sleep deprivation on top of it is killer.  you wake up (if you ever got any real sleep in the first place) feeling like a hungover hot mess without the party.  i know we will figure it out, we are not the first ones to do this, but it will be an adjustment.  i do know the one thing i will do differently this time is breastfeeding.  i want to succeed and hope it is a different experience from bowie, but i do know that if it isn't i will not be as hard on myself.  unlike the first born, i do not have the luxury of time to lay on the couch doing skin to skin and cluster feedings and experimenting with every herb, tea and lactation recipe out there.

had my weekly check up this morning and baby has "dropped" and has a strong heart beat in the mid 150's.  i still have slightly elevated blood pressure, but my doctor feels confident in saying i have gestational hypertension instead of a case of mild preeclampsia.  she wants me to rest and take it easy these last couple of weeks.  i go back next tuesday and there is a possibility of being induced on fridady june 22.  now it's time to figure out when to get my mom out here!

my body feels huge and is getting harder and harder to maneuver.  i can barely get comfortable in bed, i can barely get out of bed, roll over, get up from a sitting position and sometimes just even walking.  jarad told me i should use the motorized cart at costco the other day, but i just couldn't do it.  i don't have any stretch marks and never got the linea negra this time, but i do have some lovely varicose veins on my legs.  the exhaustion has returned big time over the last few days.  i wake up in the morning feeling so dopey and drozy, and it doesn't wear off.   some days i will take a nap but regardless i have a hard time sleeping at night, which means i sleep in later in the morning which means less time to myself before bowie wakes up.

i feel so big that often times even a small meal leaves me feeling very full.  jarad was so sweet and arranged for our friends to watch bowie last week so we could go out to dinner, i have been wanting mexican food.  and we tried a new place that i really enjoyed.  aside from that i have been eating a lot of beef jerky, which is not the best idea when it comes to the incredibly high salt content.  maybe it means i am craving protein, but man that stuff is good.  we buy the costco sized packs and it doesn't last long.  most of the time i do better snacking throughout the day rather than 3 meals that leave me feeling uncomfortably full.

weight gain this week = -0.5 pounds
total weight gain = 18 pounds

i am feeling very hormonal and emotional lately.  which makes me feel nervous for how i will feel postpartum.  jarad has been such a wonderful support and is helping in every way possible.  but bowie has been pushing my buttons and pushing boundaries and testing limits lately which is exhausting on me emotionally, physically and mentally.  oh yah and any toy that makes noise is going into permanent hiding, they especially get under my skin right now.  i keep thinking back to how i felt at this time when i was pregnant with her and where we were at in our lives.  at this point we were moving into our rental house in maple valley and trying to unpack and get settled.  i am so happy we are not doing that this time around, but somehow this feels harder.  i am sure every pregnant women would agree that the last few weeks are incredibly hard on your body and mind.  and knowing baby could come at any point is exciting and nerve wracking at the same time.  sometimes when we are out i wonder what would happen if my water were to break right now???  and sometimes this lil guy kicks so hard down low (which is really not a kick cause it is where his head would be) that i wonder if that is actually the start of contractions.  hopefully when that time comes my mom will already be here and we will be at home ready to go.

weekly milestones:

~close to the size he will be at birth, growth slows down at this point and he is just putting on fat
~lungs are getting ready to breathe at birth
~reflexes are kicking in
~size of a honeydew melon