sweet dreams...

sometimes i feel myself dreading bedtime even though i am so exhausted.  i want time to myself, but i always have a million things to do that didn't get done and then i always have to pump before bed.  and i know that right as i am about to fall asleep it is almost guaranteed that ryder will wake up.  so last night ryder fell asleep in my arms while taking his last bottle before bed.  i could stare at him forever, this sweet face melts my heart.  i know that if i sat here he would sleep so soundly, and of course as soon as i put him in his crib he woke right up!  and look at those chunky little hands and fingers, pure sweetness!